It's been a long time coming.

I have a date with a bottle of wine tonight. It knows me like no other.
I have to write here because if I don't my words will end up where they don't belong. A note slipped under your door while you're sleeping. You'll think I'm gone but I'm just crying in my car.
How can I describe things? You're the sun I orbit around. I lost my gravity, and now where am I? I'm off course and colliding through unfamiliar masses. I'm somewhere I don't belong at speeds I can't handle. It's too hot close to you.
Its something I have tethered, and something that leaves me weathered. Its all the natural elements I'm made of and you're all the ones in climates I've never lived in. But I bear up against them, I tough it out. I ride out, I rise above. I have to.
I'm a moth to light! A rodent to rat poison! A girl with a crush, who wants to crush and be crushed. I'm a secret talent. I want to be the exhale. Not just a breath out but a relief. I'm the strings on the instrument, plucked and slid across to make a melody and a story or just showed off. I'm the punctuation that conveys emotion. I want to be final. I want to be a culture that those people know and the others admire. I want to be the candle lit beneath your face to give you a beautiful glow. Your wine stained lips after a night of talking and laughing and learning and love. Even the signature on your tab when the night is done, folded in your pocket for records to keep living. Its the curiosity that killed the cat and the 9 lives after. I wanna be the dream you have where you wake up disturbed but hoping it picks up again. Its dark and dirty and smoky. I want to be the alias that keeps your identity secret. I want to be seen and all encompassing. And that blinking line while you're thinking.
It was too much.